Tackling the Mid-Length Hair Crisis

by Courtney on January 26, 2012

As I mentioned in my 2011 “recap” post, 2011 was not the year of healthy hair practices for me. In many ways, I would say that 2011 was more like the year of regression, as it seems I spent the whole year failing to get a grasp on the basics.

The first major “no-no” that I consistently committed was (*gasp*) falling asleep on cotton pillows with my hair uncovered.

I did this a lot in 2011.

Like, all the time.

This wouldn’t have even been so bad if it weren’t coupled with another terrible hair habit that that became quite commonplace for me: not moisturizing my hair in between washes. Yeah…my hair would be a DESERT on wash day. Detangling was like trying to separate a bale of hay. Despite this painful, horrible, length incinerating practice, I would still go days (weeks?) without moisturizing my hair simply because I was too lazy to do anything to it before bed. I felt so guilty about this all year and vowed to start moisturizing regularly in 2012.

As if all of the above were not bad enough, I also became a frequent offender of not protecting my ends. Obviously I didn’t do this overnight because I wasn’t even bothering to tie my hair up, but I also gave up on protective styling throughout 2011. I waffle back and forth with this all the time because honestly, I hate my hair pinned up, but I wasn’t protective styling *ever* in 2011—like, not even one day a week which was clearly a mistake. I don’t think my hair needs to be covered up 100% of the time, but I do know that protective styles need to be integrated into my routine at least some of the time if I ever hope to reach my dreams of BSL and beyond.

As I was confessing all of my hair sins to my best friend who was in town for the weekend (she is also natural and has hair around the same length as mine), we confirmed that this past year was full of inconsistent hair practices for both of us. I didn’t really stick to my regimens as planned and every week was a willy-nilly escapade where I would do whatever to my hair without keeping my length goals in mind. Likewise, she would wear here 4b, APL hair out for days on end because it was cute, only to have to face the monster that is detangling on wash day. The more we talked about it, the more we realized that so many of our hair woes were precipitated by our inexperience with hair at this length. Now that both of us our nearing BSL, it is a lot of hair to deal with (and I know we haven’t even seen nuthin’ yet) and subconsciously we were confused at (and rebelling against) the new, increased amount of attention our hair requires.

This was really startling for us, but especially me, since I’ve been natural for 8 years now. After “mastering” my hair to the point where I’ve coached several others in going natural (including my friend), you really take for granted what a “brave new world” it can be when you reach a milestone in your own hair journey that you haven’t been to before. Things that have worked for you for years suddenly do not work anymore, and all of your hard earned expertise seems for naught as you struggle to bust through month after month of hair plateaus. My best friend and I have deemed this, “The Mid-Length Crisis.”

A still shot of me and my friend, Randall, discussing the “Mid Length Crisis”

 

Let me just say, for the record, that I hate The Mid-Length Crisis (MLC). I would estimate that I’ve been here for well over a year; I am anxious to resolve it (hair therapy?) and move on with the rest of my hair journey. Since my friend was in town for the weekend and we are both feeling the pain that this “crisis” can inflict, we shot an entire video detailing our MLC hair issues and plans for breaking free. I’m still editing the video, but one major “a ha!” that we described in the video was…

…neither of us like wearing our hair in medium-sized twists.

Randall in medium-sized twist bun at the MoMa in NYC

Me in medium-sized twist bun 2 years ago

This may seem like a random declaration, but those of you who are actively trying to grow your hair out and are familiar with protective styles know that wearing you hair in medium sized twists, pinned up or bunned in some fashion is the considered to be the holy grail hairstyle for natural hair length retention. Much of this is because the style was was instrumental in helping the ever-popular Kimmaytube in reaching her now hip-bone length hair.

Anyone who has ever done the medium-sized twists protective style thing can attest that it is a phenomenal style in helping one to retain length. Even I credit this style in helping me get to APL in the first place. The issue that both me and my friend have that throws us into a “Mid-Length Crisis” in the first place is that we don’t like wearing the style! Yes, it is a great aid in hair growth but I never feel “polished” or “put together” when I am wearing my hair in that fashion. I know others will disagree and find that the medium-sized twists protective style is actually quite becoming on them, but for me, I just end up feeling like the dreaded “H”-word…homely.

So the crisis is, how do we reach our hair goals without having to wear our hair in that style? Is this an unreasonable request? Do we just need to suck it up and remind ourselves that “hair shouldn’t be the only thing going for you”?

Because my friend and I are desperate for a hair routine/style that will allow us to reach our goals but still allows us to feel “polished,” we have challenged ourselves to bust out of the MLC without the aid of medium-sized twists. Revolutionary, I know.

Since I’m ditching the medium sized twists, the regimen that I will be employing for this challenge is:

  1. Weekly washing and conditioning
  2. 3-4 weeks in mini-twists, followed by 1 week of a “loose” style
  3. “Loose” styles can be twist out, braid outs, or even flat ironed hair
  4. During the “loose” style week, I will wear my hair in a loose bun or pin up from Monday to at least Thursday, then I will wear it “out” over the weekend
  5. After my week of “loose” hair, I will go right back into mini-twists and start all over again

Once a month, I will post “length check” photos on the Think & Grow Chick Facebook page to see if my friend and I are making progress. You can view the January pictures right now in the gallery:

…or in the designated Facebook album. If you would like to embark on this Mid-Length Crisis challenge with us, you are free to post your hair pics on the Facebook page, too. I figured that if I know that I have a once a month “check-in,” then the accountability will keep me from being lazy with my hair throughout the week or doing dumb stuff like not moisturizing for days at a time.

***

Am I alone, or is there anyone else out there feeling the sting of the “Mid-Length Crisis”? What used to work for you that doesn’t anymore now that you are midway to your length goal? Does dealing with all this “new” hair stress you out? Share in the comments section.

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Bookclub Book: The Greatest Salesman in the World

by Courtney on January 24, 2012

Hey everyone!

Although the word has already gone out to those who are currently members of my bookclub, I just wanted to make everyone aware that the Think and Grow Chick Bookclub is back and session starting this Sunday, January 29. For all of the month of February (January 29 through February 28, 2012), since it’s a short month, I have chosen “The Greatest Salesman in the World” by Og Mandino.

This is a short but strangely uplifting and motivating book that I happened upon at a used bookstore when back in the Midwest during the Christmas holiday. I don’t want to say too much about the book or I’ll give it away, but it centers around a character who lives in the ancient Middle East during the first century who happens upon some “secret scrolls”. Desiring to be the greatest salesman in the world, this character reads the scrolls and the wisdom they contain change his life forever.

As I said before, this is a very short book–one could likely finish is in an hour or two during a lazy afternoon. Though it might be one of the strangest books I ever read (in a good way!) when I was done with it, I immediately wanted to reread parts of it over and over again, letting the message of the “ancient scrolls” really sink in. I know all of this sounds cryptic, but this little gem is really a perfect book to read at the start of the new year. Originally written in  1968, many people from all walks of life consider this book a classic. For those of you who are like, “What? Greatest Salesman in the world…?” fret not as this book actually has very little to do with selling or salesmanship. Instead, The Greatest Salesman in the World provides cleverly compiled insight about the attitude and thought process one must consistently have in order to do anything worthwhile in life.

If you are already plagued with procrastination and/or self-doubt at less than one month into the new year, then I highly recommend that you join me in reading this book. Let it be the boost you need to succeed! :-)

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To get more information about purchasing the book and to read reviews, click here. (Note: Because this book is so old, any local used bookstore is likely to have it for $5 or less. I have personally encountered it twice at two different used bookstores in different parts of the country.)

To learn more about the bookclub, click here.

Happy Reading!

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2011 Recap: Goals and Habits for 2012

by Courtney on January 18, 2012

As promised, here is Part 2 of my “New Years Post” for 2012. Consider this post to be the nitty-gritty—the stuff I did well and the stuff I flopped on in 2012…

The Good

 

Bible Reading: As I mentioned in my last post, I stayed pretty consistent with my morning bible reading and prayer routine. Most days it was only a chapter or two, but just staying in the habit proved to be really beneficial for me in all aspects of my life. This something that I definitely plan to maintain in 2012. In fact, it is my goal to get through the entire New Testament and part of the Old Testament in 2012.

Fitness: I surprised even myself with how great I’ve been doing with staying committed to my fitness routine. I have to admit that it was a slow start last year; very rarely did I even work out until late June, early July. When I got to Dallas for my summer internship around that time, I felt really inspired to get in shape because (1) so many of the young people there are in shape and (2) I knew that I wanted to be in the habit of working out by the time I got back to DC.

My little Texas-kick start really worked, because I was completely fitness obsessed by the time I got back to DC. I will go over my specific actions in a separate post dedicated to my fitness journey, but some of the major things I did included devising weight lifting and high intensity interval training routines for myself. My friends, let me just say that it has made all the difference. I dropped 8 pounds without even meaning to (I am 5′ 9″ and went from 148 to 140) and have developed  significant muscle definition that even my boyfriend, friends and family have noticed. This is not only something that I want to maintain in 2012, but I would like to take it to the next level by becoming even more defined and increasing my athleticism.

Finances: 2011 was a big year for me in terms of money. I was able to get the last two financial monkeys off my back by paying off my last two credit cards, which was approximately $2,700 in total debt. One of the main reasons I was able to do this was because of the salary I received from my summer internship. Although the first credit card was paid before the summer, I killed the last card ($2000) in exactly 8 weeks.

Having extra money was obviously a big help, but even that would not have mattered if I didn’t stick to my budget. I was very methodical and focused with my saving and paying those credit cards off, so sticking to my budget by doing things like cooking at home, packing lunches, taking the bus instead of the train (cheaper), and shopping for things secondhand or on-sale is what really helped me get over the hump.

I will go into greater detail about my financial practices in another post (The Story of a Black Girl and Her Money, Part 3 is sooooo over due…) but this year I would like to stay debt-free in terms of the credit cards and pay off the smallest of my student loans, which is $3,350. I also would like to build “giving” into my budget where, in addition to what I regularly give my church, I’m doing something creative and spontaneously generous every month. I’ve always wanted to be more deliberate with charity, but I always convinced myself that I didn’t have the time or money. Now that I’ll be done with school and I’ll have a “real job” in a few months, I really want to get serious about doing (financially) charitable things.

 

The Not-So-Good

 

Hair: 2011 was not a good year for me and my hair and I only have myself to blame. I reached APL in April of 2010 and have only retained about 3 or so inches past that since. I am about an inch away from BSL and it is driving. me. crazy!

The difference between where I am and where I want to be…ah, so close!

 

But as I said, *I* am my own hair culprit in that I got way too comfortable in 2011 and really developed some terrible hair habits. In brief, I was not diligent in sticking to my regimen, protective styling, moisturizing, or even tying my hair up at night. I will go into detail in my own dedicated “hair frustrations post” but for 2012 I know I have to get it together with the hair or I’ll never reach my hair goals.

Blog: As much as it pains me to admit it, in 2011 I did not work as hard on the blog as I could have and should have. Yes I was busy, but everyone is busy and I know that I could have cranked out more post if only I weren’t so lazy! It has been my goal since the inception of this to expand the reach of Think & Grow Chick. I think the topics discussed on here are relevant and uniquely presented and I always feel I’m doing a disservice when I don’t put as much into the blog as I am capable of. I think the biggest issue I faced last year was the limiting mindset of treating this like a hobby. When you say “hobby” to yourself, you think of a “some time” thing that you do whenever you feel like it for your own enjoyment. Honestly, I see Think & Grow Chick as better than that. Just by all of the wonderful, incredibly positive and inspiring comments that you all leave me, I think what it present here is really special. In 2012 I want to treat it that way by posting regularly on here and my social networks (YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, etc).

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So this is where I’m at in 2012. To really create an environment of success, I’ve done a few things:

  1. I have (of course) written all of this down in a journal. My motto has always been “if it isn’t written down, then it doesn’t exist.” Goals just aren’t “concrete” for me until I have them written down in a place where I can review them regularly.
  2. Speaking of writing things down, I even keep a Franklin-Covey planner to help me do the things that will get me closer to my goals on a daily basis. With this being my last semester in college, I expect there to be tons of “urgent” things that need to get done right away that will take up a lot of my time. By writing my goals in a planner and carving out time each week to work on them, I’m making sure that I’m making steady progress on the important, not urgent stuff that tends to repeatedly get pushed to the side.
  3. While my planner is what helps me do the practical stuff towards my goals, vision boards help me “see” and “feel” my goals. This is where Pinterest comes in. I freakin’ love Pinterest! It is a great way to collect inspiring images, videos and quotes off of the internet and organize them into virtual boards. I have boards for everything from fitness, to hair, to fashion, to even recipes I want to try. Follow me on Pinterest here.

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What were the things you did and didn’t do in 2011? What are some specific things you are trying to accomplish in 2012? Share in the comments section.

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2011 Recap: A New Perspective in 2012

by Courtney on January 5, 2012

Whew! It’s that time again: my annual “new year’s” post! 2011 was packed with so much, flying by so fast that I hardly know where to start! There are a lot of things that I accomplished in 2011 that I’m really proud of and want to carry forward in 2012 but in order to explain it all with justice, I have to go somewhere that I’ve only touched on briefly before: my faith.

As I’ve alluded to in other post, my faith in God as a Christian has been a huge source of strength and inspiration to me. Whether it was coming out of the mess I made with school and my finances or even with my goals, if it weren’t for God and the wisdom I have received from the Bible over the past few years, I am certain that I would be certifiably crazy! :-)

If you notice in the last sentence, I said “over the past few years” because I’ve only recently gave my life to Christ. Although I was raised in a Christian household and my Dad even became a pastor during my teenage years, I never fully understood the Christian message growing up. As a person who considers herself an “intellectual”, I faced a lot of inner conflict when it came to Jesus, so I embarked on a spiritual and intellectual “soul search” during the first 3 years of college, professing only to believe in God but not necessarily the God of the Bible. It wasn’t until right before I turned 21 that a series of crazy circumstance that only God could orchestrate brought me to a place where Jesus was the only thing that made sense and the only thing that I wanted. I’ll leave my testimony at that since a lot of the stuff that brought me there is personal, but I wanted to make my background known so that you understand the beliefs powering my perspective, even if yours are different.

As I described in my 2011 “new year’s” post, my focus for last year was not necessarily on goals but on good habits that would eventually lead to the outcomes I was looking for. One of the first habits that I successfully “ingrained” was getting up to read my bible every morning. Although I did (and still do) have days where I wake up too late to do this or I miss for some other reason, I got into the routine enough where I was (and still am) amazed at all the wisdom I was gleaning, even from just a chapter a day.  In fact, I’d say understanding biblical concepts and allowing them to influence how I live and look at life was the single greatest theme for me in 2011. Based on that, these are the philosophies that influenced the habits/goals I am putting into practice for 2012:

 Money. When it comes to money, I am now focusing more on how I manage it and how generous I am with it versus pursuing more money just for money’s sake. Last year, I received a lot of wonderful financial blessings (which I will detail in part 2 of this post) that made me realize that I am already exceedingly financially blessed, especially for a college student. God has never not provided for my needs, so instead of making random goals to earn more money “just because” I want to point my energy towards managing it properly and being generous to those less fortunate.

Last year, especially with the passing of Steve Jobs, I realized that I want to focus more on making meaning with my work over making money. This is not to say the two are mutually exclusive; at least in business, money does tend to follow those that create the most value for others. The point is that money should follow meaning as a by-product, not the other way around.

Fitness. Similarly to my shift in perspective on money, I no longer want to approach working out for vanity’s sake. I’ll admit this will be hard to put in practice because Lord knows I would loooove to have a six-pack, but I really want to move away from working out to make my body look good versus working out to be healthy and experience all that my body can do.

These may be extreme comparisons, but when I start to obsess over small physical “flaws” that need to be “fixed” in the gym, I think of women who with disabilities, women who deal with illness, women who battle obesity, or even women who are enduring physical or sexual abuse. Every day, there are millions women in this world who’s bodies are prevented from operating at the level of health and freedom that I get to experience. That is not to say that there is anything wrong with looking good or even desiring to look good, but I want to keep “looks” in its proper place. I’d rather have a six pack as a by-product of me being a healthy, athletic person than because I crash-dieted and worked out excessively to get it.

Achievement. My ambition is probably where I’ve had the biggest mental shift. This is huge for me because I’ve placed a lot of mental energy, even to the point of breakdowns, into “accomplishment”. Over the course of reading the Bible and praying in 2011, “Self-Actualization”, for me, is now successfully using whatever platform I have to (1) give God glory and (2) help others. That’s it. It doesn’t matter how many goals I reach or targets I hit—if I’m not doing those two things then I’m not doing what’s important.

As a recovering perfectionist/self-help addict/goal-obsessed person, this is so freeing for me. I feel free because I can now pursue goals without freaking out if I don’t hit them perfectly, because I know (like money) they are a means to an end, but not the end themselves. If my goals are all I have in life, then it makes sense for me to obsess over them and fret if they aren’t accomplished perfectly. However, if my dreams and aspirations are merely vehicles to show everyone how great God is and help people achieve greater meaning in their lives, then all the slip ups, missed opportunities and imperfect execution is okay because at the end of the day, I still accomplished what I *really* set out to do.

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So that, ladies and gents, is as succinctly as I could explain the “recalibration” that took place in 2011. Just consider this my 2011 brain, squished into a blog post as neatly as possible. Coming soon is more of a “nut and bolts” post describing specifically what I did and didn’t do in 2011, as well as the habits I’m working on for 2012.

Where is your mind at now that we are out of 2011? Have any mental shifts taken place for you? Share in the comments section.

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Putting Your Money Where Your Values Are

November 21, 2011

“Your eyes are bigger than your stomach.” This was a quip my father always had at the ready when I was kid. Whether it was asking for another 3 slices of pizza before I had finished what was already on my plate, or begging for a large sized popcorn and sweettarts at the movie theater [...]

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Have You Joined the Bookclub Yet?

October 11, 2011

That’s right, the bookclub is back! Though I’ve mentioned the bookclub on the blog before, if this is your first time hearing about it, you can click on the “bookclub” tab in the navigation bar above to learn more about it. For quick viewing of what we are reading at anytime, the current book is [...]

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My Fall 2011 Natural Hair Regimen

September 20, 2011

It is definitely that time again. Feeling crisp in my lightweight cargo jacket, I bopped happily down the sidewalks today after finishing my classes, taking in the the soon-to-be autumn air. Although I’ve since traded in my pigtails and plaid jumper uniform for a more adult aesthetic, something about the fall season makes me regress [...]

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Summer Hiatus, New Site Design and Updates

September 12, 2011

Me next to one of the art pieces at the African American Museum Dallas Hey everyone! This “update” post is long overdue, but it’s always difficult to figure out what exactly to write about when you’ve been away for so long! After procrastinating by walking to the store, cleaning the house, prepping dinner, and watching [...]

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Video: How to Do Mini-Twists on Your Natural Hair (Without Driving Yourself Crazy!)

June 29, 2011

Below is a little video I put together explaining my methodology when installing mini-twists on my natural hair. I first learned about mini-twists from Naptural85 and I must say, I really love them. I’ve been busy traveling all over the country this summer (thus encountering many different climates) so wearing my hair in this way [...]

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It’s Really Just that Simple (Part 1): Easy, Effective Natural Hair Care

May 23, 2011

As a life long lover of all things “self-improvement”, sometimes I sit back and marvel at the various challenges I have put myself up to over the years. Whether it was “learning to be a doctor” at 7 years old by reading the unintelligible passages under the “How Your Heart Works” section of my hardbound [...]

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