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She’s Living Her Dream: A Simple Thing

by Courtney on August 19, 2010

This post is part of a special feature I’m running showcasing women who are living their “dream life”. The features will run for the entire month of August in celebration of this blog’s one year anniversary. Click here for details so that you can participate!

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*Steps onto the stage, and throws cape back in an amazingly dramatic James Brown-esque style*

*hollers* WHOOO!!! REPRESENTING THE UNITED KINGDOM, WHUT!!

*Taps mic*

Uh…guys? I don’t think this is working.

1. What is so great about your life?

*Speaks into correct mic* Heh. Nah, don’t worry, I got it.

My life is amazing, because it’s the life I wanted – not a path set out for anyone else, or set out by anyone else. It’s the way that me and my God agreed on. I’m currently at the university I wanted to go to and I’m excited about the future I have. I know a lot of people who are horrified at the prospect of ‘the future’ and I want ask them, “Why are you so scared of the inevitable?” I’m relatively prepared for whatever life throws my way, so I’m not at all shaken by the idea of leaving university. I want to be there already, living the life I’ve planned! I can smile at least once every day because I’m so upbeat at the prospect of what I have to do that day *shakes her pom-poms in the air*

2. What were your original goals when you set out to create your “dream” life?

When it came to my education, initially, I aimed incredibly high – I wanted to be the trailblazer people had always told me I was meant to be; going to an incredibly well known English university, doing a particularly notorious challenging course, and being the best in that career field. But then I realised what I was aiming for was different from what I actually wanted: I wanted to go to Lancaster University (Lancaster, UK, not Pennsylvania!) so much – I knew it would be an amazing springboard for my future, and I just felt called to there. I know that sounds a bit out there, but when I went for the Open Day, I was determined to get there.

My main objective in life was to be content with what I have. It may not seem like a massive thing, but for me, it was incredibly important. I’ve got Aunties and Uncles, and other relatives who have the cars, houses and shoes they’ve always wanted – but they’re still not happy. I want to be happy, which is the most important thing for me.

Sometimes, when it comes to making me happy, all I need is a cupcake. I’m simple, really.

3. How long did it for your dream to become a reality?

I’m extremely impatient, so I wasn’t at all prepared to wait around. I got down to researching what I needed to get into my dream university, and when it didn’t look like I was going to get the grades (I didn’t -__-) I found a way around it – taking a summer program that introduced me to my course, to my university. My dream is still a work in progress, but I’m excited, because I can see it working out – like when I knit something, or start writing. At the beginning, it doesn’t look like much, but when you realise you only have a few more paragraphs, or rows to go until you get there, you get so excited. Well, maybe you don’t, but I sure as heck do! I have another year of university (I guess you guys call it college?) to go, and then I’ll do my teaching postgraduate. I’m still collecting work (and life!) experience as I go. The greatest thing is that I love every second of it.

Sometimes I know I’m infuriating for being this happy/smug, but I can’t help myself! I’m so thrilled! My life is AWESOMESAUCE!

4. What are some of the steps you took in accomplishing your goals?

I think the first step I took was going natural – and in effect, giving two fingers up to everyone who has or attempted to control my life. I’m too hardcore for them to live vicariously through me.

Working towards my goals has involved a lot of self-reflection and thus, a lot of cutting down. Like, why exactly am I so intent on owning that particular pair of shoes? What will it add to my life?

I still look and lust after the shoes.

But they stay in the window…sometimes!

Doing this makes me really appreciate the stuff I do have, both tangible and intangible.

Another thing I did was to invest in myself – like doing more exercise, and eating more fruit and vegetables. I still whip up a batch of cookies when I feel the need (almost every weekend) because I don’t believe in denying yourself anything – but I’ve realised that when I’m at my best, I do my best *strikes a Telemercial ad pose* It’s a cheesy slogan, but it’s true – when I’m drowsy from lack of sleep, or because I’m crashing after an incredible sugar high, I’m the grumpiest, laziest, stingiest person in the world!

5. What is your biggest advice for those still working towards their dreams?

When you’re doing something to help you achieve your goals, make sure it’s what you really want to do and justify the pros and the cons. So, let’s say you have a job. Because you need money. But it pays such a pittance, that you’ll be 92 before you can afford whatever it is what you want. Your boss has sold their soul to the devil and is trying to collect yours too. Your very soul is being eradicated, and your school work is suffering.

It seems not even a chocolate fudge gateau could help you now.

You have to look at the advantages of every situation against the disadvantages. If the stress from a part-time job is going to make you fail your school grades, maybe it’s not worth it and you need to walk away.Or maybe on the flip side, the stress from your job is going to be nothing in comparison to the relief you’ll get from having less debt after university/college.

Don’t get broken before you realise what’s truly important to you.

Write down what you want to do! Whether it’s an imaginary list of future goals, or what you’re going to eat for breakfast that morning – putting it down on paper makes it real. It’s like making a contract with yourself! *Gives you a stern look T_T* You are now morally obliged to keep this promise….to yourself! Stick it up somewhere so that you’re constantly reminded of it everyday. And give yourself achievable milestones (so you can celebrate with a cake every time you reach one! Yaaay for cake!). That way, as you tick them off, you can see yourself working towards your goal.

Don’t stop believiiiiiiiiing…..! *breaks into a Glee routine and then looks at you with a straight face* But for realsies. Occasionally, something will happen, and it looks like whatever you’re aiming for is going to be delayed, or take a heck of a lot longer, or you’ll have to go through some other route, or people are throwing their fire onto the flames of doubt. You will have to be extremely self-determined, and have incredible faith in whatever you want to do. I’ve had my closed loved ones criticising my appearance, my hair, my career choice, my love life – but I have so much faith in all of my choices in the above, that I don’t even care.

Surround yourself with positivity, and limit your interactions with with people who want to bring down your dreams. I don’t mean abandoning your BFF if she ever mentions that, no, she doesn’t really fancy Taylor Lautner, and actually, he might be slightly over-rated and isn’t he a bit young for your future husband to be? [Surely in this day and age one can voice one’s opinion without being excommunicated?!] There are people who aren’t really helpful in your journey, and if you want to keep them in your life, fine. But try and balance them out with people who’ll give you firm support and advice on you want to do. This will be SO helpful when something crap has just happened and you need someone to talk to (don’t abuse them however – a small gift will probably be gladly received after 2 weeks of you talking their ears off…)

Discipline yourself. I don’t mean when you’re bad, go sit in the corner *Snickers* I mean if you’re really determined to do something, you can’t wait for it to fall easily into your lap. *Boot camp coach voice* You’re going to have to work – and work hard! But at the same time, start off slow. If learning a language is what you’ve always wanted to do, then set aside at least an hour every week to just learning. If you want to do something like a marathon, then start off working. If you need to study, focus on one topic for a set amount of time but dedicated the same amount of time to everything. You see what I mean? Throwing yourself intensely into anything will just burn you out really quickly without having reach the core of the matter…

Like throwing cake mix into a ridiculously hot oven…

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Isn’t she a character??? Much thanks to “A Simple Thing” for both her wisdom (and wit!) in living the life she’s always dreamed of. If you’re a successful woman (however you define it) and are living the life of your dreams, answer the above questions and send in your picture to Courtney [at] thinkandgrowchick [dot] com.

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Simplicity is King

by Courtney on August 18, 2010

Photo Credit: Tambako

Following the train of thought from Monday’s post, I’ve been thinking more and more about this global “back to basics” movement and what it means when people realize that that which is simple is often that which is best. I’m reminded of studying this ideology in my advanced math classes back when I was majoring in engineering. As many of you math and science majors may remember, Occam’s Razor is a principle used in Medicine, Engineering, Logic, and even Religion and Philosophy which basically states that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one. While I never thought that I’d be using theories from my old Engineering classes, I’m finding this type of “simplistic thought” increasingly pervasive in several aspects of everyday life.

Though I’ve been running into this “keep it simple, stupid” message over the last few months in my studies of personal finance, wellness, and beauty care, I became totally convinced this morning when one of Think & Grow Chick’s Facebook followers, Ash Crown (thanks, girl!) posted an article on genes and longevity, from Impossible Magazine.

On the remote Japanese island of Okinawa, lives one of the oldest communities in the world. In this apart of the world a lot of people do get to live past 100, not only that but the majority of these centenarians live up to the age of 97 unassisted. They are complete independent, they look and act 20, 30 and some even 40 years younger than their age. They are extremely physically fit and healthy to the end as most of them tend to die in their sleep. Researchers believe this is due to their lifestyle. Now that gives a whole new meaning to ‘aging gracefully’.

The Danish Twin Study established that only about 10% of how long the average person lives, within certain biological limits, is dictated by their genes. The other 90% is dictated by their lifestyle.

You don’t see these centenarians chasing after the latest fad diets and if you look in their bathroom cabinet, you won’t find the latest anti-aging, anti-cellulite, anti anything creams. Surprisingly, what they do to stay “young” is simple and inexpensive.

Even with all of today’s modern technology and advances in medicine, many of people would be hard pressed to see age 90, let alone past 100, because—in my opinion—we have a tendency to overcomplicate things. The further and further we get into Medicine and scientific theories, the more and more we realize that starting a healthy, simple diet complete with moderate exercise at an early age may be the answer to a longer life (as the above article demonstrates) and the end of many of our ills. In my never ending quest for self improvement, however, I realized that adopting a “simple” mindset in terms of my hair and finances, would keep them both—just like my health—growing strong.

Hair

In finding simple ways to maintain and grow out my natural hair, I’m surprised by how many methods I’ve stolen from my mom and how she used to do my hair when I was younger. I think people tend to “throw the baby out with the bathwater” when they admonish our Mamas’ and Grandmama’s heavy handed use of Blue Magic grease and that hot-as-fire pressing comb, but there was a lot of wisdom behind why they were doing what they did. It wasn’t until after years of being rebellious to my Mom’s traditions that I returned to them later because she had the right idea–protective styling, limited manipulation, avoiding too much heat, and only using a few, tried-and-true hair products–even if her methods were off at times.

This methodology is echoed by even the Natural hair community’s most well-known champions. Everyone from YouTube stars KimmayTube, LongHairDontCare2011 and LeobodyC5 to the long-haired celebrities of hair forums like longhaircareforum.com, the same sentiment is shared. Be gentle with your hair. Keep it moisturized. Use heat sparingly. Avoid fads or “hair bandwagons”. Protect your ends.

Finance

Reading The Millionaire Next Door was the first book that both convicted and floored me about what America’s most financially sound individuals (i.e. – wealthy people) had to say about how they managed their finances. In short, the people who could afford status symbols the most avoided such luxuries while people with 1/5 of these millionaires overall wealth blew their income on expensive cars, homes, clothes, and restaurants the first chance they got. My financial understanding became sort of ironic in a way, as I realized that the things we buy that we think make us “rich” (a BMW, a Tiffany’s bracelet, a Louis Vuitton handbag) are actually the things that prevent us from being rich. All this time I had spent so much energy on earning more money, earning more money, and earning more money that I failed to see the one simple principle that has guided my financial understanding ever since:

It’s not about how much you make, it’s about how much you keep.

Whether we’re talking America’s most fiscally smart millionaires or your great-grandparents who paid for everything in cash, the people who do best with their money have learned to simply want less so that they can keep more of their money for the things that matter.

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Maintaining simple habits has been the best thing that I’ve done for my hair, health, and money within the last year. If you are finding that you are having difficulty achieving your goals, ask yourself if there are any things you are doing to make your journey more complicated than it has to be. This is not to say that the simplest principle will always be the easiest, but as Occam ’s razor points out, more often than not the simple answer is best. I find that the world operates this way because it displays God’s genius, but regardless of your faith, it’s hard to deny the effectiveness of doing things the simple way. How has “simple” worked for you?

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She’s Living Her Dream: LaVita Simpson

by Courtney on August 17, 2010

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What is so great about your life?

I thank God for a life that supports my goals: career, personal, spiritual and social. My family and friends, who are all equally unique, support and challenge me to do better, to think beyond my desires and current comfort.

What were your original goals when you set out to create your “dream” life?

I often tell people that my seeds were planted in high school when I joined the track and field team. A girl, who would become a good friend of mine, made straight A’s almost effortlessly! I admired her, I mean, I went to class but I spent more time talking than paying attention. So, I stepped up and said “I’m going to do it all.” Hold class office, go to college, work on Capitol Hill, buy a house, get married, have two children (boy and a girl) and have a pretty brown puppy named Prince! Ha!

How long did it take for your dream to become a reality?

Well, most of my dreams became a reality in my early 20’s. I graduated magna cum laude from an esteemed historically black university where I was elected the queen of the university. I went on to work for a senior member of Congress, purchased my first home at 23 and adopted my pretty puppy named Prince. Then I said – Now What? So I set new goals. I thought I wanted to be a lawyer, so I took the LSAT, tested well then changed my mind! I did a little soul searching and asked myself, “what can I do every day without complaint?” So I started a business, an events planning company, MyGreenApple, and I now work fulltime building my new dream.

What are some of the steps you took in accomplishing your goals?

To quote Ms. Jasmine C. Harris, “I did NOT stop!” I made a decision and I have tirelessly pursued it. I have decided to invest in myself and build my own legacy; to pursue my dreams. I have gone back to school to learn how to run a successful business, I am pursuing my industry’s top certification, I have laid out a plan and I am scratching accomplishments off my list every day!

What is your biggest advice for those still working towards their dreams?

Don’t limit yourself. Decide what you want to do, write out a solid plan, seek advice from those who have done it and “just do it.” No one can give you permission to be great. You are the only one with that power.

Any belief worth having must survive doubt. – author unknown. I share this to let you know, you will doubt yourself, others will doubt you but you must know Your Dream is Worth Your Effort!

Be open to learn lessons from everyone. And your first lesson is – the world revolves around knowledge; who has it, who wants it and where it can be found – and in business how much it will cost you.

Find a mentor, a sponsor and a circle of like-minded individuals. Your mentor will provide guidance, your sponsor will endorse you (speak up for you), and your circle will support you and act as a sounding board and resource for everyday matters.

Lastly, there is almost always an inexpensive or free resource! Reach out to people and ask questions!

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Thanks LaVita for your words of wisdom in living the life you’ve always dreamed of. If you’re a successful woman (however you define it) and our living the life of your dreams, answer the above questions and send in your picture to Courtney [at] thinkandgrowchick [dot] com.

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Should Naturals…well, Go Natural?

by Courtney on August 16, 2010

With the way current events are playing out in this country and around the world, I like to think that people—or at least Americans—are having a fundamental shift in thinking about our ideals and priorities. From the recent economic crisis to the “Dateline”-style exposure of everything from the healthcare industry to how our food is made, it seems that people are ditching their former complicated ideals for a simpler, more orthodox way of looking at and living in the world. One example is the spending trend following the financial crisis in this country. Once ardent buyers of everything we could touch just as long as our handy credit cards were in a nearby pocket or purse, many Americans are now done with sophisticated ways to incur debt in light of the simplicity of spending cash only when you can afford it. This trend of “pairing down” is seen even in our most basic need to eat, as the movement for *gasp* making meals at home with simple, unprocessed ingredients continues to gather steam.

Though we as African-American women can sometimes find our reality slightly deviated from the mainstream of our non-Black American counterparts, I would argue that this “back to the basics” revolution is manifesting itself in our culture as well. The biggest indication of this is obviously with the natural hair movement. After realizing that (1) our hair is beautiful and worthy to be worn as it is and (2) all of these processes to make our hair different than what it is naturally is both expensive and impractical, Black women all over the world have “gone natural”. While I readily accept this shift in thinking for our community and encourage anyone who will listen to proudly wear their natural hair, my question is whether or not it is worth it to go natural a second time. That is…

Should natural haired women also make the leap to using natural products for their hair?

Photo Credit: Newyork808

The above may seem like a random assumption at first glance, but many women within the “natural hair” movement are staunch “naturalist” not only with their hair, but what they put on it. Say what you want about the Whole-Foods-Shopping-Yoga-Class-Taking-Pooka-Shell-Wearing-Poetry-Show-Attending stereotype of Black women with natural hair, but regardless of what we do to our hair, I think we all can admit that going natural tends to spark an introspective look at our personal health and what we do to our bodies. All I’m asking is whether or not the logical conclusion of a Black woman’s natural hair journey is to start using natural hair products. In fact, I would say women with natural hair fall squarely into three friendly, but distinct camps: those who choose products based on its effectiveness for their hair, those who choose products based on the ingredients contained in the product, and those who consider a little bit of both.

As someone whose own “holy grail” hair products consist of both natural (coconut oil, Kinky Curly Knot Today Leave-In) and commercial (Eco Styling Gel, Aussie Moist Conditioner) products, I’d have to say that I fall into the last camp. My interest in the subject recently piqued, however, when I wondered whether my new devotion to unprocessed food posed a conflict of interest with the slew of commercial products residing on my vanity. “Going organic” in terms of my grocery shopping was always a hard sale to me as organic seemed neither all that beneficial nor affordable. It wasn’t until learning about the American food industry (too complicated to discuss here but I encourage everyone to see the movie Food, Inc.) and actually giving truly natural ingredients a go did I see how much of a difference it really made. Sitting on my bed staring at the dozens of plastic bottles with effective, yet chemical-laden ingredients, I wondered if I was undoing all of the good done by my healthy eating habits.

Furthermore, was I being a hypocrite by admonishing women with relaxers for using such an unhealthy product in the name of beauty while I myself slathered on Propylparaben and Triethanolamine daily? I took my search to the library where I checked out the book, The Body Toxic by Nena Baker. While the author’s work was thorough and did a great job of exposing some pretty scary facts about the level of exposure to harmful chemicals we receive on a daily basis, I finished the book unconvinced that eliminating the use of all my commercial products would have that much of an impact. According to the book, a toxicology reading of the average American reads so high just by the chemicals found in everything from paint to plastic bottles, that most of the toxins that we carry will remain with us even after our deaths.

After all of the above thinking and searching, I still remain steadfast in my position to try to use natural products whenever possible, but not at the expense of the product’s effectiveness for my hair. Yes, I know that I might literally be taking Eco Styling Gel with me to the grave for some of the chemicals found in it, but I can’t say I’m convinced that my commercial hair products will have a greater effect on my overall health than my eating or other activities that I do. But that’s just the personal opinion of this natural chick…what do you think?

Should Naturals…well, go Natural? Leave your comments below.

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Quick and Dirty Tips to Personal Finance

August 9, 2010

***This post was contributed by Evyan Durham. For her contact information, check out her bio at the end of this post. To submit an article, click here*** Saving money is something that is fairly foreign to me although it has been preached to me ever since I landed my first job at the tender [...]

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She’s Living Her Dream Life: Jasmine C. Harris

August 2, 2010

This post is part of a special feature I’m running showcasing women who are living their “dream life”. The features will run for the entire month of August in celebration of this blog’s one year anniversary. Click here for details so that you can participate! ******** What is so great about your life? Besides having an [...]

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Birthday Giveaway Winner!

August 2, 2010

I’m currently running a special feature for successful women for the entire month of August in celebration of this blog’s one year anniversary. Click here for details so you can participate! ********* And the Jane Carter sample pack giveway winner is… Youtube user cantwait890! Congratulations! Details of how to collect your prize will be sent to [...]

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Video Post: The Story of a Black Girl and her Finances, Part 2

July 29, 2010

I’m currently running a giveaway and special feature all next month in celebration for my birthday and this blog’s one year anniversary. Click here for details so you can participate! ********* Here’s the part 2 to the financial video series I’m doing. Thank you everyone for your kind comments and response! Personal finance is a [...]

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My Birthday Wisdom from Janelle Monae

July 28, 2010

I’m currently running a giveaway and special feature all next month in celebration for my birthday and this blog’s one year anniversary. Click here for details so you can participate! ********* While today is not a huge birthday for me, I think turning 22 warranted doing something a little special for myself, so I bought [...]

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An Ode to Beauty

July 27, 2010

I’m currently running a giveaway and special feature all next month in celebration for my birthday and this blog’s one year anniversary. Click here for details so you can participate! ********* Lately I’ve been feeling really inspired when it comes to the concept of beauty for all types of women. This mood comes upon me [...]